BE THE SOLSTEST: YOUR GUIDE INTO THE DARKEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR

Today is the year’s darkest night. You could get even darker, but why?

This time of year is perfect for contemplation and letting things decompose into new energy for new life in the spring, but there is a darker place we all need to go.

GO IN

Imagine you are in a deep cave; there is no light or sound. This is where you want to be. You can judge it all you want, you can listen to your “healer” and call it your shadow, or you can assume that in this deep dark place are all your fears, or whatever, but stop listening to that crap and sit and be, and wait. Because that darkness is all the stories and false idols we collect, smothering our inner light. They distract, they get us excited, they have us ping-ponging from emotion to logic to problem to solution to opinion to blame to overwhelm to boredom. Then, all that fiction has extinguished your flame. But not really; that flame is a tiny spark, or maybe just an ember. So, the darker you can get, and the deeper you go, the easier it is to see even the slightest trace of light. Seriously, go to Burningman in the middle of the day and light a match. No one will notice, I promise. Now, go into a windowless warehouse with no light at all. Now light a match. That tiny light is all you need.  That light is the energy it takes to begin a path. That light, though, can also be put out very easily, so take a breath and drift your attention towards that light.

We find that light every new year, by the way, but many people run to it, and it goes out. You want to get fit, rich, or change your life, and you can feel it, but the external light turns on and drowns out the internal one as you run out and buy a bunch of stuff. Then, throw so much fuel on that inner fire that it goes out. You don’t see results fast enough, forget how busy you are, or agitate an old injury. That light is powerful, but it’s been sitting there for a long time. Chill out and nurture it!

The cave, the darkness, the blackness, and the deepness within may have some stories, legends, and fears at the mouth of the cave; however, just like the media many of us watch. Fear is gripping; drama is entertaining. Everyone wants to hear about the cave and the trail of skeletons of all that have perished to DEFEAT the monster inside, but, what if that’s just another way to scare you and keep you from realizing the monster is just a wise and cool version of yourself?

Usually in the darkness is a frail light waiting to be nourished back to a mighty flame to warm you and bring energy and life back to you. Yeah, it’s inside. Of course, it is.

I have found my inner light many times, it's powerful, but it's also very discouraged and needs to trust me again. It’s special and protects itself from all my chaos and ignorant expectations. Keep it there and learn to stop throwing a ton of crap on it all the time.

• Internal things keep it lit, from your food to your inner voice.
• External things can either build a darker cave around it, whether it’s the news, more stuff, or some random thing outside your control. Or you can train it.

Many of us are scared and want to escape because we lack training, I would never want to enter into a cave with a bad knee, a deadline at work, or, you know, gut issues.

I can remember so many things that used to terrify me that now have zero effect, like writing. My hands used to shake before I hit send on these emails and the chapters in my new books. Speaking on camera was a quick and easy way to invoke diarrhea, a blank mind, and a dry mouth.

When you lose your light, though, go in where it’s dark, and you can see that tiny light. Turn everything off, and listen for the crackle of a spark, the lighting of a match, that simple voice. The darker your mind gets, the brighter that light will appear. Don’t fear it; walk slow.

Imagine you are in that dark warehouse and see a candle at the other end of the room. Walk slowly to it so you don’t trip, fall, or worse, wack your shin or hip bone on some rusty piece of metal.

Then, when you get that candle, seriously, grab a candle or a match and try to walk 20 feet and keep it lit.

You will first try to cheat by cupping your hand around it, and yeah, that will help a little, but then you’re gonna start walking too fast, then you hyperfocus on the flame and miss out on all the things around you, maybe trip on something, and then yeah, the candle goes out.

So take a step and tune in. Then repeat.

Take time to experience what pace you can walk with that flame. Learn how to maintain it, and then you can make choices from there to build it.

How do you know you’re about to go too fast?

Most of the time, fear or discomfort excites you, and judgment makes you want it all to end  or find a solution quickly. Problems need solutions, goals need results, and pain needs to stop. So, we often make extreme choices to stop the pain or light the room: Numb out to stop the pain and escape or give all our money to a charlatan who tells us they can light the room and show us the way.

The way is in; having a guide is good, but the solution is rarely external. You need a teacher that reminds you to go in and go slow. [PS: I'm rad at that, let's do some one on one training.]

Pain is a teacher, fear is a message, and both tell you to go in. Find the strength to endure, listen, and respond instead of fleeing, tuning out, and reacting.

With good teaching and tools, you can train your reactions, but I have to be honest: Most of us don’t have access to that level of training. Do you actually consider or value that?

You can, though!

Journaling, contemplation, and some physical training are good starts, but find motivation from that light deep within. Don’t let the cave of fear, fiction, story, expectation, limitation, or excitement start you on a path that kills your fire. Nurture it, and it will grow. Go nuts and set ambitious goals, and then you might just be left deep in a cave with nothing to light your way back out. Yeah, that’s the scary part; that’s why there are so many skeletons in there.

Not because they tried but because they tried too hard. 

Hope you liked all the pictures of matches.

Matt

Book a one-on-one session HERE, and find your light. So much can happen in just one session.